Just some rambling thoughts here: Who am I serving? That's the question. If this is my "job", this is how I exist, economically, in this world, then I need to have a game plan and a focus for just what this project is doing. What is it about? What is it for? And how much can I handle myself?
It's a one man show to an extent but it'd be great if I had a little team. I had an assistant for awhile and she helped me stay on track. She had great ideas. Her name is Marie and we traded her admin services for my paintings. That was a perfect situation.
Ya know, it's just that I'm sick of being a mooch. I come into these locations and I eat their food and drink their beer when really, I'd love to be able to get a wad of cash from a host location and a handful of sponsors that might actually fund a lovely dinner with my girl or a couple tickets to a show here & there. I'm providing promotion for them in my own quiet way. It's supposed to be symbiotic.
Yes, I want money but at the moment, my life is all about accepting my life the way it is. I'm thinking outloud here ya know. It's just not a normal way of life I'm trying to carve out. Connection is all that matters and having a pure heart, that's a big deal and it shows. Everyone around you will know if your motivations are not pure and we all flounder but I just want to help while being helped and an even balance is the ultimate prize.
With my artistic output, I really just want to reflect the daily interactions and happenings that make a day great. We all live through these little moments that keep us going and quite often these are moments that involve others. And this is my art. People ask "do you paint or what?" I do paint but not really in the fishbowl. Not usually but there will be that too if I get to stay in the right kind of location for painting.
Ya know, I feel like drawing, maybe I'll draw now. By the way, the place I'm staying is on Sunset. It's called Living Room. Thnx Steve!
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